Friend Or Foe

Easter candy indulgences

Right about now, all you have to do is venture into the grocery store to see that Easter is upon us. One look at the seasonal candy aisle of your local grocery store full of chocolate bunnies, colored eggs, bags of rainbow-colored jelly beans and all of the other sugary sweet confections available leave no speculation as to what time of year it is.

A girl like me could go into sugar shock if I ventured to try all of the different candy creations available. Thankfully, I am somewhat discerning when it comes to candy. A cheap chocolate bunny holds no appeal for me. Well, unless I haven't had access to chocolate in weeks. Still, cheap chocolate is always disappointing. Your hopes are high, but the reality bites.

My mom recently bought a bag of those little milk chocolate Cadbury eggs with the crunchy outer-shell. My son and I were at her house and he loved them so much, she told me, "Take that bag, I have another one." Silly me, I listened to her. Now, a mere two days later, they're all gone. Sure, my little boy ate five or six. But, I ate the mother lode.

Candy is definitely my foe. That's why I don't usually buy it when I go shopping. I know I will eat it. I can't control myself. Oh, how I envy those people who don't like sugar! It would be so nice to be able to turn up my nose at holiday candy. Alas, it's not meant to be.

Reality TV Obsession: Friend or Foe?

I love watching American Idol. I know there's plenty of people out there who don't care for the show, but I've been a loyal fan since Season 5. I sporadically watched it before Season 5, but once I watched Season 5 all the way through, I was hooked.

The thing about it is that I love to watch it, but it takes up so much time. Some weeks there are three episodes. Some of the episodes are 2 hours long. That's a lot of dedication to one TV program. Yet, year after year, my husband and I watch it.

It's almost like an obessession for us. We don't want to miss it. So, we DVR every episode just in case. Then, if we have to miss an episode we can watch it when it's more convenient for us. And, believe me, we watch it ASAP.

There's nothing else on TV that we dedicate so much time to, either. So, that's why I think that reality TV, like American Idol, is a foe.

Should a TV show be that important to any two people? I think not. But, sadly it is.

I also like other reality television shows, and so does my husband. In fact, now that I think about it, every single thing we watch is reality television. Ugh. That sounds really bad, doesn't it?

The other things we watch a lot of in my house are kid shows, because we have a 4-year old son. So, reality television plus kid shows does not a refined television watcher make. But that's a whole other topic.

Eating Out: Is It Your Foe?

I am currently on a weight loss journey. I want to lose about 30 pounds. I have been at it for 2 weeks and I've lost three pounds. No great progress, there, but still it's progress.

I'm doing the Weight Watchers thing, where you have a set amount of daily points and a set amount of bonus points that you can use whenever during each week.

I vowed not to use my bonus points recklessly. But yesterday, I did just that. I met a friend for lunch at a cafe that serves a lot of comfort foods. Bad choice, I know. Anyway, I get there and I want to do the lunch special because the last time I was there it worked out good.

Unfortunately, the lunch special was fried catfish, macaroni and cheese, fried okra and a corn muffin. Uh- definitely not low calorie or low fat. The waitress was a bit antsy, and I didn't have time to peruse the menu as I would have liked to find a better option. So, I blurted out, "I'll have the lunch special."

So, as we waited for our food, I began to devise a strategy. I planned to only eat half -- or less -- of what was served to me. The problem was that I was VERY hungry. My breakfast consisted of about 100 calories and it was almost six hours prior. I didn't have a snack in between because I was preoccupied.

Anyway, the food arrives and I began to eat. I eat some more, then some more, then some more. Then, I look at my plate and I see that I have almost polished off everything on my plate. This was one time when eating out was definitely my foe.

Mmmmm....Chocolate: A Friend and a Foe

I'm in the mood to talk about chocolate. I love me some chocolate. Of course, it has to meet my discerning standards. It can't be that cheap, sugary stuff. I like rich, creamy chocolate that gives you a delicious feeling. Whenever I'm feeling a little bit down, I can chew a piece of chocolate and all is right with the world for the next few minutes or so. That makes chocolate my friend.

My problem with chocolate is that I can't stay away from it. If I buy a bag of candy and bring it home, I will polish it off in the matter of a few days -- no joke! That can do some serious damage to a girl's daily diet. So, for the most part, I don't buy chocolate candy, cookies, cake or pie. That's why chocolate is also my foe.

I was a team leader at a call center for awhile and I gained 10 pounds. One of my team members would bring bags of Hershey's kisses and Dove chocolates, pour them in a large bowl and put it on the corner of my desk. My desk was on the floor with the team members, so everyone had easy access to the goodies. The problem was that so did I. I could not stop myself from constantly reaching for candy after candy after candy. Chocolate is very addicting for me.

At Halloween, I try not to buy candy I like. It's a strategy I have in case I have any candy left over. I don't want to be tempted to eat it. When I go to the store, I look longingly at the chocolate items, but I normally do not put them into my basket. I know that I will gorge myself on them instead of rationing them over a reasonable period of time.

Be glad if you do not have this friend/foe relationship with chocolate. It's quite annoying.

Free Day on a Diet: Good or Bad?

"I’m one of those people who likes to adhere to the rules. "

My best friend is doing Weight Watchers. She’s been doing it for about 9 months. She’s lost about 30 pounds. She wants to lose about 15-20 more. Since I’ve been staying at home and freelancing, I’ve put on a few pounds myself. I recently decided I want to give Weight Watchers a whirl, so I asked her for some advice.She had a lot of good advice, but one thing I’m unsure of is her practice of giving herself a food “free-for-all” every Friday. She told me she weighs once per week on Friday morning. Then, during the day and evening on Friday, she eats and drinks whatever she wants. She doesn’t count points, she doesn’t consider the ramifications. She just eats and drinks to her heart’s content. Then, on Saturday it’s business as usual. She resumes the diet.

Another thing she’s done is given herself a break from dieting during vacations – which could last for a weekend or a week – and holidays. So, yeah, she’s not above cheating. She even told me, “You gotta be bad sometimes!”

I’m one of those people who likes to adhere to the rules. If I’m going to diet to lose weight, then I want to give it my all. Cheating once a week definitely draws out the process, I would think. I want results. I don’t want to diet for the biggest part of a freaking year to lose 20-25 pounds. But, I also don’t want to miss out on certain things for months and months.

I think my friend’s suggestion to be bad once a week is a foe in the making for me. I might alter it to once a month, or at the most, once every two weeks. Or maybe I should just bite the bullet and stick the diet without any deviation. We shall see.

Mall Sales: Deliver Me From Temptation

I live in a small town. The closest mall is about an hour away from my home. So, I can't make any of those impulse trips to Victoria's Secret. Anyway, I rarely make it to the mall. I work from home and I don't really need a full wardrobe of work clothes. However, I went to the mall yesterday and saw all the awesome sales. I was looking for an outfit for a friend's birthday party I'm attending this weekend.

So, there I am looking around and I keep seeing things I want. I look at the price tags and they seem too good to pass up. So, I buy a few things, then I buy a few more things. Keep in mind, I haven't even spent $100 bucks yet. I feel exhilirated. I leave that store and head to another. I see more good deals, more sales. I keep my money securely in my purse. I walk swiftly by the shoe clearance section. I think, "Maybe I should just check and see if there's a pair of cute shoes in my size." I resisted the urge and kept walking.

I don't know if the sales had more of an effect on me because I rarely go to the mall. Or if the sales are just that tempting. I think it's both, in my case. Like I said, I didn't need everything I bought. I wanted most of it. What I need to remember is mall sales come and go. If you don't buy today, you can buy next week or next month -- sometimes at an even better price.

I think mall sales can be your friend if you keep your spending under control. I pay cash for everything, so credit is not an issue. But, if you have a credit card and you love to shop, those mall sales can definitely be your foe.

Is Facebook Your Friend?

I have a Facebook account under a pseudonym. That’s right – a pen name. Why, you ask? Well, I wanted to sign up for a job network and the only way I could was via Facebook. I don’t want to put my real name on Facebook, so I used an assumed name.

No, I’m not hiding out from someone. I just don’t want to get sucked into the Facebook vortex. You see, I love communicating on the computer. I love how quickly you can fire off your thoughts and send them to one or hundreds of people. There’s something exhilarating about it. Okay, I sound a little obsessed, I know. That’s why I don’t do Facebook.

My husband has a FB account. He got it after his one of his dear sisters urged him to join the family on the site. He doesn’t post on his page or anyone else’s. He simply has a FB presence. Sometimes, he and his sister send PMs to each other on the site, but couldn’t they do that elsewhere? Um… what about texting? Anyway, It’s not my job to justify his presence on FB, I’m simply trying to prove whether FB is a friend or foe. So, back to my story.

I say it’s a foe. I know because on my birthday, I got on Facebook – via my husband’s page -- to post on my sis-in-law’s wall “Happy Birthday.” One of my husband’s sisters shares the same birthday and year as me. Anyway, I posted on her wall. Then, hubby’s family members started posting on my hubby’s page to me. I started posting back. I was hot. I had three or four conversations going at once. I was firing off witty comments and having a great time. Then, I noticed almost an hour had gone by since I logged on to simply tell my SIL “Happy Birthday.” Uh-uh, not me, I’m not getting sucked in by Facebook. I logged off and I haven’t been back to socialize since. So to me, FB is a foe. What do you think?

The Influence of Superheroes: Is It Kid-Friendly?

My child has gone from dressing and acting like Spiderman to IronMan to Batman -- all in the course of 18 months or so. One of his grandmothers gave him a ride-on Spiderman toy when he was 2-1/2, and he's never looked back. On Halloween, following the gift, he decided to be Spiderman. This past year he wanted IronMan. Now, he wants a Batman suit to wear around the house. In fact, he's currently obsessed with Batman. He also has books about all three superheroes that he loves to look at and have read to him.

None of this particularly bothers me until he decides to act like a superhero. When he grips my arm and acts as if he's going to throw me into a wall (not that he could even come close) or he crouches down in a Spidey stance, it unnerves me. Now, I know boys will be boys and their play tends to be rougher than the play of little girls, but are superheroes really kid-friendly?

My son thinks superheroes are supposed to hurt the "bad guys". Sometimes, I'm the bad guy in his eyes when I say no to chocolate chip cookies because dinner is in 10 minutes. Or when I won't let him take his favorite stuffed toy into the bathtub. Then, I hear him make grunting noises and see his defensive stance as he poses as a superhero. The look in his eye tells me he wants a challenge. I suppose he's playing the role, but still it bothers me.

The American Academy of Pediatrics has stated that watching violence on television can lead to violent behavior. So, if my son's favorite superheroes toss their enemies around, utter growls and practice general bad behavior, I definitely shouldn't let him watch them on television. Not that I would. I take the time to talk to him about the good and bad behavior in the superhero stories when we read them, but somehow I think he misses the point. He still likes the idea of strongarming someone when he doesn't get his way. He thinks he has super strength and he can leap across rooms in a single bound. So, in my mind, the influence of superheroes really isn't all that kid-friendly.

Is Diet Soda a Friend or a Foe?

"I think caffeine is highly addictive and diet sodas were a convenience for me."

For several years, I thought I was doing something good for my body by drinking diet soda instead of the real thing. While it's true that regular sodas are filled with enormous amounts of sugar -- 9 teaspoons per 12 ounces -- drinking diet soda as a substitute isn't necessarily helpful to your body.

First of all, if you drink diet soda with caffeine, you get a triple whammy: artificial sweetener, phosphoric acid and caffeine.

Let's start with artificial sweetener. A study conducted on rats at Purdue University proved that rats that consumed artificial forms of sweeteners consistently ate more than the rats that were fed real sugar. Ugh -- that's not good.

Then, there's the phosphoric acid in diet soda. Phosphoric acid robs your body of calcium, and too much of it can alter your body's pH level in a dangerous way. There's another strike against diet soda.

Finally, there's the caffeine. Too much caffeine can cause a host of problems such as anxiety, insomnia and fatigue -- none of which are desirable.

The funny thing is that I subconsciously knew that diet sodas have no benefit. For instance, I won't allow my young child to drink them just like I won’t allow him to drink a regular soda. So, why was I drinking them for so long? Habit, I guess.

I think caffeine is highly addictive and diet sodas were a convenience for me. I justified my two-a-day habit by saying the sodas had zero calories, so they weren't harmful. Turns out I was wrong.

Frenemy?

I have a friend who is incredibly unhappy with her life. It doesn't matter that she has a fabulous career that pays her well, a new home that she owns, a high-end car and everything else in a material sense that she might want. She doesn't have a MAN. I love my friend, and I want her to be happy. However, she is extremely picky when it comes to men. She wants a complete package -- looks, brains and wealth and a complete willingness to treat her like a queen.

I, on the other hand, am married to an awesome man I love completely, and he feels the same. I work from home. We have a beautiful son together, and we are able to pay the bills each month. We have a car that's well over 10 years old, and we don't buy material items very often. I also don't invest money into my appearance like I used to when I was single. I go to the salon about once every six months. I rarely buy new clothes, and you'll see me more often than not with chipped toenail polish from a manicure that's months old. The main difference is that I am incredibly happy.

So, we live two totally different lifestyles. Most of our communication is done via email or texting. She stopped calling because of the background noise from my 4-year old. Occasionally, we get together -- like maybe two or three times a year. That's when I have to endure the put-downs from her.

The last time I saw her, I had just come back from the salon. I got a pedicure, french manicure, my eyebrows done and a new outfit. I felt great. She told me that I always look tired and run-down and my hair was stringy. She even turned up her nose at my outfit. She told me that she didn't want me to be one of those married women who let everything go. She really hurt my feelings. I know I don't look top notch on a daily basis, but when she told me those things, I felt like I had pulled out all the stops to look good.

So, lately I've been pondering: friend or foe? Is my longtime friend more of a frenemy than a true friend? Is her unhappiness coloring her judgment?

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